Eulogy, Joann Schlesinger Clark, Sept 20, 1930 – May 9, 2013 Wednesday, May 15, 2013, Saint Mark’s Church, Sea Girt, New Jersey BEGINNING. Good morning. I am Allison Clark, the oldest of Joann Clark’s six children; including Susan, Timothy, Maureen, Mary Catherine and Joann. Our mother was a devoted wife and mother, and the matriarch for a family of six children, 11 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. We have all been truly blessed. Mom was meant to be a mother. After Dad died in 1991, for the past 21 years, her continual focus was guiding her children and enjoying her grandchildren. She was tremendously proud of her children and grandchildren and all of their accomplishments, big and small, and this is the reason I am in uniform today. MIDDLE. Mom was born as Joann Schlesinger on September 20th, 1930 in San Antonio, Texas; the eldest child of Louis and Josephine Schlesinger and the big sister to Molly. She died on Thursday May 9th, 2013. She was 82 years old. The Great Depression, the Dust Bowl and the inequality of racism were significant influences on her young life. Recently she told me of a time her mother, Jody, took her to the Cress Department Store in downtown San Antonio when she was a very young girl to shop for a dress. When she reached the bottom of the downstairs escalator she saw drinking fountains and one labeled “Colored.” She said she was very disappointed when she discovered it did not have colored drinking water. She graduated from Our Lady of the Lake High School at age 16. She graduated from Hood College in Frederick, Maryland in 1951 with a double major in English and History. She met our father while in college. She converted to Catholicism and they were married on January 24th, 1953 at Saint Dennis’ Catholic Church in Manasquan. It takes a special kind of woman to be an Army wife. She had six children in seven-years, born in three different states and two different European countries. ‘Home is where the Army sends you’ and she moved 18 times in 23 years, around the world with a family of eight and multiple dogs; and including two unaccompanied tours when Dad was in Korea and Viet Nam. She was a writer, an artist, a cook, a chauffeur and even a Cub Scout Den Mother while Dad was in Viet Nam. Mom was always a spur of the moment cook. Someone said she always somehow seemed to have a cooked chicken in the kitchen. She was always engaged and a lover of knowledge; forever learning. She was a telephone tutor; a lover of words; a voracious reader; and the smartest and wisest person I have ever known. Her interests and knowledge ran the gamut from history, to politics, economics, art, travel, quilting, gardening, birds, and even sports. She loved football. For a time she and Dad traveled to home games with season tickets for both the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles. I think she more than tolerated the wild game and the fish, but after Dad died she said if she ever had another bluefish in her kitchen, it would be too soon. She didn’t care for the fishy smell. While sharing memories just the other day, a cousin reminded us of her sacrifices as a mother. She did not like going to the beach because of the sand, but she took us six kids; single file carrying inner tubes, beach toys and towels. “Whatever you can carry, you can bring” she would say, while others would say “Here come the Clark kids.” There were many road trips throughout Europe and the United States. I recall one trip to Italy with all eight of us crowded into what was once Grandpa’s green Cadillac, and a trip to Colorado with all of us crowed into a VW Van. Her love of travel never ceased. She spent her 79th birthday in a Paris flat for two weeks. She meant to write a book, but we only found the following: “Pithy thoughts: Life is not fair, but parents should be.” I think it’s important to include here the descriptions from her grandchildren, and they are: Warm-hearted and sweet Optimistic Kind-hearted Bright and intelligent does not even begin to describe how smart she was. Compassionate Very wise and always gave me advice on life’s decisions Sensible Wise and outspoken An amazing woman who will never be forgotten Jeopardy was her favorite television show and this speaks to her intellect and memory. She had an amazing memory. Not long ago she recalled for me the street address where we lived in Salzburg, Austria in 1955. ‘The Sound of Music’ was certainly one of her favorite films. Since moving to Lakewood in 2000 it was good that she was so fortunate to find such good friends and neighbors. She always set an example for us all, even to the very end and beyond; providing instructions for her own funeral. END. She wrote, “I think this poem is lovely, especially the “I love you.” I’d like it at my funeral.” I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one, I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I’d like to leave an echo, whispering softly down the ways, of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I’d like to see the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun of happy memories that I leave when life is done. I love you. And lastly, years ago, she left for us her final written instructions in what we call her “Dear Children Letter.” Dear Children, If I die before I get really old, please don’t be so sad. I know you will miss me, of course, just as you miss Dad, but please think of how happy I will be to be back with him. I realize that may sound selfish – and you’re probably thinking that I should stay around because you need me, but, much as I love each and everyone one of you, but for me life without Dad is just not the fun it once was. When we got married he became my whole life – you were manifestations of that love – but without him the heart has really gone out of it. Maybe that dream of us riding off in the old Trooper and how happy and at peace I felt was an omen. Remember to love and care for each other, to find joy, to remember that what we are rather than what we have is more important, and to live so that you make a difference in this world. Love, forever, Mom Mother, thank you so much for all you have done for all of us. We love you. We will miss you until we meet again - in Heaven.